Could a Comfy Kiss Bring Bliss?

February, 1994

Astounded by the remarkable upswing in Mr. Clinton's approval ratings since the brouhaha about his alleged love life?

Such confusion is understandable. But, the 73 percent approval peak reflects more than the President's ability to rebound. It also says something about the national character.

At heart, we're all romantics.

We like to think of our president as a loving guy. And we like that his wife stands by him, even when the going gets smarmy.

But, mostly, we like love stories, especially when we're in them. Of course, not everyone is lucky enough to find love in high school, or college, or the White House.

However, on Valentine's Day, everyone wants to find a rose-colored heart-shaped envelope in the mailbox. Which may explain why more than 900 million valentines will be exchanged in the next week or so. It's one of the biggest card-sending holidays of the year, second only to Christmas.

Part of what drives the numbers up are those elementary school classroom parties in which each child has to come up with 30 mostly cartoon-infested cards. Romance has little to do with those missives.

Yet, anyone who thinks romance is dead should go into any Hallmark store next week. There, clusters of men with faces puckered in thought will be poring through stacks of red and pink rose-covered cards in hopes of finding one with just the right balance between sickening sweetness and credible manly desire.

In the greeting card industry, Valentine's Day is what's known as an "obligatory sending situation." The card makers know that if Mr. Right fails to make some sort of Valentine gesture, Ms. Right could get the wrong idea.

Plus, in these touchy times, a lot of people send cards to acquaintances in whom they have no romantic interest whatsoever. And, of course, the card companies don't mind. In fact, they've come up with cards to suit every conceivable Valentine angle. There are cards designed for grandparents, teachers, casual friends, even pets.

Still, pleasant as it may be to receive a flowery card on Valentine's Day, some of us hope for more. The traditional flowers and chocolates remain popular options for many Valentiners. However, when it comes to romance, consumer trends don't always tell the whole tale.

Consider, for instance, a recent survey conducted by Blistex, the lip people, which asked 500 men and 500 women to describe their favorite ways to celebrate the most romantic holiday. Nearly half (49 percent) of both the men and women said that a weekend getaway would be the best Valentine option. Another popular choice for both men and women was a candlelight dinner, although men (52 percent) weighed in a little heavier than women (39 percent) on this one.

More revealing than the areas where men and men agreed, though, were the activities on which they expressed different views.

Not surprisingly, while 38 percent of the women said they'd be happy to get flowers for Valentine's Day, only 4 percent of the men expressed the same sentiment.

The women polled in the survey put dancing to a favorite song (30 percent) at the top of their list of romantic activities, followed by relaxing with a foot massage (a disturbing 25 percent) and sharing "a decadent dessert" (21 percent).

In contrast, men expressed less desire to boogie to a favorite song (19 percent), or have their feet rubbed ("rub my what?" 15 percent), or share something sinfully sweet to eat (12 percent). Perhaps as a result of that best-selling Mars and Venus book, not many people will be surprised to learn that men and women have different ideas about what constitutes romantic behavior. However, despite their reluctance to dance or devour chocolate, the men in the survey revealed an unexpected mother lode of passion, rooted in the primal male seat of power – the couch.

It turns out that the number one Valentine turn-on for men, as selected by 47 percent of the males, was "kissing on the couch."

Women didn't think much of this option. Only 18 percent said it would ring their chimes.

Still, there you have it. The mystery of the sexes, the caldera of passion, boils up out of the lumpen crevices of the homely couch.

Or maybe the men are just too lazy to get up off it. I don't know.

Be that as it may, Valentine's Day is coming. Have you got a plan? Or at least a couch?

If not, there's still time to furnish your life with romance.

There's always the remote chance it could lead to love.