Sometimes it feels as if all of life is a test, and none of us did the homework.
In the quiet pause between the old year and the new, tradition tells us to make bold new plans, reaffirm commitments, rid ourselves of past baggage.
Yet how those old habits cling. The vows to eat less, exercise more, live more sustainably and help uplift the planet all sound good and right in the watery afterglow of fireworks and festivities.
But come the dawn, the old demons also awaken. The forces of destruction keep pace with the ongoing work of creation. Perhaps this is part of The Plan. You know. The big one. The one many have claimed to see, yet none have convinced me. It all seems awfully random – the kindness and cruelty woven together in a tight mass of tweedy confusion. I sympathize with all the systemizers – the folks who claim to have figured it all out, to have gotten a message from God or one of His Facebook friends. It’s only natural to want to know why things are the way they are, and, of course, being human, we want to know whom to blame.
Some say we have only ourselves. Certainly that’s true in part. But it’s difficult to assess the situation from our limited perspective here on Earth. We’re like ants contemplating lightning. We can only ride out the storm and hope the bolts land someplace else.
So, another year older and deeper in debt. So sang Tennessee Ernie Ford some fifty years ago. Yet it’s still a good old life, in parts. Sure, it’s harsh and cruel and sometimes stupefyingly dull. But that only makes the moments of joy, the transcendent flashes of clarity and peace, more precious.
It’s a New Year. Breathe in, breathe out. Enjoy your moments. This is only a test.
